


Forgive Me Father For I Have Sinned.

by Aspieonage



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Death, Love, M/M, Murder, love hate relationship, oedipus complex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-18
Updated: 2017-03-18
Packaged: 2018-10-07 06:21:09
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 848
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10354047
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aspieonage/pseuds/Aspieonage
Summary: Sam and Dean always had a more.. loving.. relationship than other siblings.But Sam isn't happy because somebody is in his way..





	

**Author's Note:**

> I do not like this one. Am sorry. ~

It has always been like this. It was John and Dean and him, the little brother. “Baby Sammy”. He hated that nickname. But when it came out of Dean’s mouth it wasn’t that bad. Sam adored Dean. If John would allow him on hunts, he would most likely risk his life for him.  
Sam loved the times John left them alone in an icky motel room. That meant Sam didn’t have to share his brother. For a week, two, or even just for a day. He loved it. The time he had on his own with Dean was precious. And he would try his best to make it nice for the both of them. As long as he could keep Dean from getting drunk in the next bar, he wasn’t too shy for any kind of excuse. He wasn’t going to share him with some chick. Dean was his. Sharing with John was enough.

-

July 4th 1996

Finally. The 4th of July. Sam loved this holiday. It meant John was passed out on the couch in the afternoon and Sam being able to sneak out to watch the fireworks.  
But this year was special. It was the first time Dean took him out with the Impala. They drove to a perfect spot. An open space up on a hill. They sat on the hood of the car and had the most amazing view. When it got dark and the fireworks started Sam saw the most beautiful thing he’d ever see.  
Dean’s eyes had always had the color of the grass, bathed in sunlight. But the reflection of a thousand sparkling lights illuminating them was almost too much.  
Dean had asked him several times if fireworks bored him or why on earth he didn’t watch them. But Sam was watching. He just kept looking into his gorgeous eyes, framed by a million freckles.  
That night a lot changed for Sam.  
The lights dimmed when it got late, the fireworks got less. The stars came out and the brothers were still sitting on the hood of their car. Sam only had eyes for Dean. He had always looked up to him. Dean was his whole world. And he just couldn’t stand it anymore.  
That night they had their first kiss.  
Sam and Dean’s relationship didn’t change much. A few kisses were added and occasional careful touching which took its time to go to second or third base. With John around their relationship was difficult.  
And that’s why he had to go. Sam changed. He knew he had to stop. He knew it wasn’t true. But the occasional spark of jealousy when John was around Dean ignited into a campfire. He had nothing to fear for his father regarding Dean. But still Sam was anxious to loose Dean’s love. Father and son were just too close.  
And when John let Sam behind on his own he couldn’t help himself. Each night he would dream about John and Dean at night and during the day he made plans to get rid of his father.  
He didn’t tell Dean. He didn’t want him to think he was crazy. But in the back of his mind a plan was starting to form.

-

It wasn’t the first hunt Sam was allowed to join them. But finally it could happen. They were in a dark forest, carrying their weapons per usual. But when they split up instead of joining Dean, Sam went with John, earning a little protest from his brother. But he just had to do this.  
What he hadn’t counted on was Dean being suspicious.  
It only took Sam a couple of minutes to find the right opportunity. He didn’t use his gun so he wouldn’t attract any other people. Or Dean. His father had been too surprised to even fight back.  
Sam was satisfied when he was done. The lifeless body on the ground in front of him. Blood dripping from his own hands (and face because he just couldn’t tame his mane without using his hands).  
For the first time in forever, he felt relieved. Happy.  
But his high only lasted until he turned around. Dean was standing only a few meters away. Sam had never seen him look this hurt in his like. Dean was betrayed. By himself, the one who swore to never hurt him. And his only excuse was that he had been jealous.  
In that moment all the light faded from Dean’s eyes. They seemed to get a lot darker and his whole aura changed from bright to hazardous. Sam felt his whole world crashing around himself. Instead of getting rid of the cause of his pain, he broke his own heart. And his lover’s. The one person in the world he cared more about than himself, who he would always put in front and who he never wanted to hurt, looked at him as if he was a stranger.  
It was too late now. What Sam had done, was done. His world had shattered and there was no way of putting the pieces to a whole again.


End file.
